So I've been a mother for 18 months now (over 2 years if you include the pregnancy), and for the most part, it is one of the best things I have ever done. But one thing that seems to never go away, is the fact that my body is not my own anymore. If you're a man, you probably don't want to read this:
1) As a pregnant woman, I feel I have little control over my body. I've never been a "puker" (and God bless you souls who are), but I've had the nasty sinus infection for about a week (hence no blogging), and I throw up at least once a day due to all the mucus I have in my throat. I feel like each time I throw up, I'm losing more control. Like today, I puked on myself in the car driving 70 mph with NO warning. (TMI...stop reading!)
2) When I was nursing, I was a slave to my reflux child. There were so many things I couldn't eat that bothered him (the worst thing to give up...chocolate!) Plus there was that nasty diet for a year from the infection I contracted at the hospital (which is why I will never willfully have another baby in the hospital again : )
3) Finally, my pre-potty training toddler (we're reading and talking about it now) wants to poke his finger in the toilet (and other places) every time I pee or poop. TMI, well you should've stopped reading earlier if that's the case!
4) My boobs used to be so perky and the perfect size, and now they shrunk to almost-too-small-to-measure and lifeless. My only source of hope and comfort is to get pregnant again so the hormones give me a temporary boob job!
5) In the old days, I was a smart, creative, and spiritual business woman. That doesn't exist when I'm pregnant or nursing. I'm dummy-headed...absentminded, not able to intelligently finish a sentence, etc. My only reprieve this time was 5 months of sobriety (the 5 months between nursing Bryce and getting pregnant again). And I heard it gets worse with every child. Is this true?
So my question is...will I ever get my body back? Is this the true sacrifice of motherhood? Is this why older wealthy women spend inordinate amounts of money to fix what childbearing caused? I guess my husband should start saving now...it's going to be expensive.
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8 comments:
Ditto! Sometimes I wonder where that creative, ambitious and talented
woman that I used to be went! Once I read at least 15 classics a year
and spent hours immersed in painting. Since being a mom those days
are over. I keep telling myself, "One day she'll be back!"
jennamae:)
I feel you. I can't even bend over to tie my shoes these days!! And I am only at month 6. Imagine month 8 and 9? Sometimes I wish she came early, and then I feel guilty for thinking that. I want her to take the time she needs to be healthy. I can deal with it for her!!
Laura
Amen! I had a bigger gap between mine, and it seemed like before I knew it everything changed. I felt like Bryndee again. I wasn't a nurse maid. Then BOOM! It started all over again. I think of how things will be when we are all resurrected. I wonder if we get to pick which state or body is in.
My husband didn't see the disclaimer "If you are a man you probably shouldn't read this" and so he is intensely disturbed! But reality is reality, right? Ever since we had the deflated boob talk at New Year's I have been noticing that mine are probably deflated too. I always thought I would need a lift, but now i may need a boob job!
I feel your pain! I'm fretting over my stretch marks these days. Yuck!
But take comfort in the fact that most women have these problems. :) Still sad though.
Don't worry Kim your not alone....anyone that has had a kid, I'm sure will agree....your too funny....
I full heartedly agree with pretty much all you wrote. Especially the absent-mindedness...it was bad during pregnancy with my 2nd and continues 7 mos into nursing her. And will the boobs every be perky again - oh I hope so but poor things are getting quite the work out. Glad to hear the pregnancy is going well and you're enjoying motherhood. Oh - love the background for your blog, very cute!
I regret that my response to this blog entry is so dismal, esp. since my other comment on your wall was bad news about the prez, BUT...Yes, you're right about our bodies getting worse after the second kid! I have a three y. o. and a 7 month old who I'm nursing, and the boobs are definitely flying south...oh well, my hubby is great about it, and I'm sure yours will be, too! But in the mean time, there'll always be the Miracle Bra!lol--Bethany Shaw Macmanus
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