Sunday, September 20, 2009

If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

I never knew this phrase to be true until I became a mother. As much as I wish it weren't true, I know that if I keep myself in order and happy, the rest of my family is happy too. I also know that if I'm in a bad mood, so is everyone in my house. So fortunately and unfortunately, (depending on how you look at it) I have a large affect on my family.

I have gained a deeper understanding of this truth over the past few months. I haven't blogged about it, because I felt like if you don't have anything good to write, don't write anything at all. But the truth is, we all have trials. I want my kids to know that they happen to all of us, we can learn a lot from them, and they can make us stronger, better people if we let them. Also, if I can help another woman who is struggling too, all the better.

Some women have a hard time with pregnancy, others have a hard time getting pregnant, and others have a hard time with newborns. I am in the last group. I don't know if it's genetics, or bad luck, or if I'm supposed to learn a lesson, but both of my children have had moderate-severe acid reflux. The first few months are the worst, and fortunately, this time, I knew what the problem was and sought medical treatment instead of letting it go and thinking "it will get better on its own." Anyway, this time, I also came down with postpartum depression and I have never dealt with this before. I was afraid to share this because it is such a private thing for many women, but I felt I should share it. I have always been a happy person, upbeat, and optimistic, sometimes to a fault :) I very rarely cry (only 2-3 times in each pregnancy) and I consider myself pretty stable emotionally. Lately, I have been crying almost every day, feeling hopeless, and quite grumpy to be around. Needless to say my house was not a happy house for a couple months. The worst part is that I felt out of control, and I couldn't think postive thoughts and snap out of it. No gratitude lists or happy songs or massages could break this pattern. So, I came to the unpleasant reality that I had postpartum depression.

The truth is it's very common for women because birth hormones, breastfeeding hormones, the lack of sleep, caring for a newborn, and no alone time with your spouse is very taxing on a woman...not to mention the guilt associated with not spending much time with your older kid(s). It's a real problem that affects women, no matter what their background.

All of my friends know I am a gung-ho naturalistic kind of person (some would say "part-granola" :) and always look for the natural solution to problems. I started with taking herbs, but that didn't seem to be enough. So I went to my naturopath and chiropractor about it, and they both said I might have some mineral deficiencies after the birth and possibly due to nursing. The minerals mentioned were iron and vitamin D as the main ones, and others too. I was taking a good mineral supplement before, but I switched to a new mineral supplement specifically for moods from my chiropractor, and voilĂ ! I was back to myself in less than 8 hours! I am so glad I didn't go to a "regular" dr. who would put me on anti-depressants. Who knows what future problems that would bring...

So now I am officially back to myself! And wouldn't you know it, but everyone in my family became simultaneously happy again too...

6 comments:

Lonica said...

Kim, I'm sorry to hear that things have been such a struggle for you. I hope it continues to get better!

Bud & Kim said...

I'm so glad you shared that. I know it is not an easy thing to do. I worry about that myself for when I get pregnant because I don't consider my self naturally happy go lucky. I'm glad to know that there are solutions and that it is normal. Glad to hear you are feeling better. By the way "the ladies" are going to grab a bite to eat after the broadcast on Saturday. So spread the word & bring Paige of course. Have a good day!

Fatha said...

Wonderful message! Thanks so much for sharing. I know you have struggled and glad you are back to where you want to be.

Jenna said...

I've never had post-partum although I did go through some depression in my college years. It's awful! I really appreciate you sharing your experience because now, if I do have a problem in the future I know where to start. You may have saved some mothers alot of heartache. Thanks!

jenna

Sharon and Spencer said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that! You should have called me to babysit or help you around the house. Please never hesitate to call if you need help with anything! I love you!!!

Anonymous said...

hi scott...this is melissa jackson...I was asking trisha about you and todd on facebook and she told me about your blog page. Well I wanted to just tell you HI and that I'm very happy for you!!! I hope to hear from you!